1.) 10:00am: Wake up when I damn please. No crying, just silence. The amazing Christmas gift of silence.
2.) 10:30am: Grab a lazy cup of coffee. Hell, it’s Christmas so add the gingerbread creamer.
3.) 10:45am: Begin flipping through channels and catching up on Serial episodes. Did Adnan really kill his ex?!
4.) 11:30am: Suit up for a completely desolate gym experience. I don’t even need head phones. I play my music on BLAST!
5.) 12:45pm: Take a long, luxurious shower and SHAVE. I have time to shave? Yes, yes I believe I do.
6.) 1:45pm: Meet the parents for a Chinese dine-in lunch. Hoard all the moo-shu.
7.) 3:00pm: Mosey to the movie theater to see “Unbroken” with my parents. Cry a little. It’s a good cry.
8.) 6:00pm: Trek back to the apartment without beltway traffic. Nothing but open road and wind blowing my hair.
9.) 7:30pm: Do some light cleaning in my PJs. I finally have time to sweep the cheerios from the counter crevices and disinfect the diaper pail. EW.
10.) 8:00pm: Take a nice, leisurely walk with the dog sans annoying, automated toys, stroller, and baby crumbs. Wow, I forgot how walking is a nice, leisurely experience.
11.) 8:30pm: Exfoliate. Cut my toenail talons. Paint said talons. Moisturize.Tweeze. Re-shave the hairy patches on the back of my legs.
12.) 9:30pm: Cuddle with some limited edition, eggnog ice cream. Cue yule log television imagery.
13.) 9:45pm: Catch up on my latest novel. Oh no, he cheated on her again? That asshole!
14.) 11:00pm: Fall into uninterrupted and unencumbered deep sleep.