He’s Playing Hard to Get If…

Courtesy of Snapshots.

Courtesy of Snapshots.

I’m not a woman who’s been around the block several times. Maybe I’ve turned a few corners (and no, NOT the working girl kind…).

Hey Penny, you’re a single mom and for all intents and purposes, a failure in love so what makes you a resident dating expert? In short, NOTHING and EVERYTHING.

To memorialize the fact that I know nothing and everything all at the same time, here are some dating indicators (in a very serious, scientific way, kind of like Cosmo with a dash of sarcasm) that he is either: A.) Playing Hard to Get (yes, men do it just as much, if not more than women) or B.) He’s “Meh” About You (by “Meh,” I mean he could take or leave it. The opportunity is present and it’s easy, so therefore he dates you, but he doesn’t feel the need to exert any real effort).

Behaviors He’s Playing Hard to Get If… He’s “Meh” About You If…
1.    Text Messaging He waits two hours or more to text back, but responds the same day. The texts are mostly focused on making plans.

Everyone’s cell is firmly glued to their hands these days. Who are YOU fooling?

His text messages are short and riddled with errors. You also may wait days to receive a response and responses are non-committal, as in “maybe we’ll hang out soon.”

He could be a really bad texter, a drunk OR he just doesn’t care that he keeps spelling “sounds good!” as “soupy goop!”

2. Listening He oscillates between rapt attention and sneaks side glances at the hottie-po-tattie bartender.

Okay, I don’t know one man who doesn’t check out other women. It’s just their biology. But he also might want to make sure your ego is in-check too. I’ve had many conversations with my guy friends to see if both ring true. They do.

He flirts shamelessly with the hottie-po-tattie bartender while getting you another drink.

This guy has zero respect for you. He wouldn’t blink if you got up to leave. Hell, he might even forget why he was there in the first place after you leave.

3. Planning His dates are always planned at least two days in advance. He does expect you to pitch in with some ideas every once in a while and ask him out too.

He requires respect and doesn’t want to seem desperate or be thought of as a doormat. Okay, fair is fair.

You get a message at 8:00pm saying “Wanna hang tonite?”

His plans either just fell through or he’s being lazy. Either way, he doesn’t care enough about you to plan ahead. I don’t care what generation you are from, it’s always rude to ask someone out on a date last minute. #Millennialprobs.

4. Communicating Conversation sounds like a dialogue. He talks then you talk. He beeps his horn a about his accomplishments, puffing himself a bit, but he encourages you to talk about your accomplishments too.

He just wants to make sure you know how awesome he is. He’s trying to seem impressive not arrogant.

It’s about him, him, him, all the time.

If you could record the conversation, it would sound like a very long internal monologue. Face it; he doesn’t care about what you do.

5. Brunching He asks you to brunch after you’re intimate, but makes it known he has some things to do right after.

He wants to show you that he’s a gentleman, but that, hey, he still has shit to do so don’t get offended when he bounces after.

He acts like “brunch” is a foreign custom.

Chances are he doesn’t do brunch until the 35th date. Why pay for brunch when you can make a coffee filter with toilet paper and eat last night’s pizza leftovers?

6. *%$#ing It’s all about you, because after all, he has an ego to protect.

Need I say more?

He says, “And….I’m done.”

Need I say more?

7. Ex Bashing He’s very tight lipped about his ex. “It just didn’t work out,” he says. You can’t get more information than that.

He’s not over it yet or take it at face-value, as in, there’s really not much to talk about. But that’s okay. The less he says about her, the more time you have to keep your “spark” alive.

He replaces her name with “whore-face.”

At least devaluing her name is the least offensive thing he’s said about her all day!

8. Relationship-ing You’ve talked about being exclusive a few times, but he wants to take it “slow.”

He might be leaving himself open for other options (and now has become the guy in the next column) OR experience tells him to take it slow.

He says, “Relationship=handcuffs= the death of me. Hey baby, I’m a free spirit! Don’t try to own me. No one owwwwwnnns me. Why do we need to label us so that you can feel secure?”

Again, need I say more?

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