There will come a day when Andrew brings home a new toy from his weekend visitation. He will proclaim loudly that Natasha/Emily/Brittney/Amanda/Cruella (okay, that one is my favorite, for comedic affect of course) gave it to him.
“Who is that?”
“Dad’s new girlfriend,” he will say as a matter-of-fact.
Then there will come the day when I am asked to switch visitation weekends to accommodate my ex’s wedding day. Of course, I WILL accommodate that.
What I Will Do/Say To The Future Step Mom:
- I WILL treat you like a human being.
- I WILL respect that you are an important part of Andrew’s development and support network.
- I WILL be cordial.
- I WILL set reasonable boundaries on parenting and communication.
- I WILL send you holiday and birthday cards.
- I WILL support it when Andrew draws you as part of the family unit in art class.
- I WILL inform you of life events.
- I WILL release any jealousy on your special connection with my son.
- I WILL include you in conversations with my son.
- I WILL be kind to you.
- I WILL disagree on some of your parenting choices and ask that you butt-out on others.
- I WILL let you pick-up Andrew from daycare/events/etc.
What I Will Not Do/Say To The Future Step Mom:
- I WILL NOT go to your wedding (in the unlikely event I’m invited). Stranger things have happened.
- I WILL NOT talk poorly of you to my ex.
- I WILL NOT try and get back together with my ex (you can cash this statement at the bank and I promise the check won’t bounce).
- I WILL NOT play “who is the better mommy?” games.
- I WILL NOT approve of all your parenting decisions, but I WILL discuss that with my ex as emotionless as possible.
- I WILL NOT ignore you.
- I WILL NOT share Mother’s Day. Sorry. Non-negotiable.
- I WILL NOT always like you. That’s just the world we live in.
- I WILL NOT talk about your marital problems, take sides or butt into your relationship with my ex.
- I WILL NOT fight with you in the presence of my son or anywhere else.
- I WILL NOT profess I know everything about parenting. If you have advice, I WILL listen. Although, don’t be offended if I don’t take the advice.
- I WILL NOT keep you out of the loop if it makes sense that you should know about a decision I’ve made.
- I WILL NOT bash my ex to you.
- I WILL NOT undermine your parenting while Andrew is with you, unless it’s unreasonable, but that’s a conversation I WILL have with his dad.