Girlfriend’s Guide To Divorce: I’m Kind Of Pissed At You, Bravo

Okay, so I know the show is a scripted series. I also know that it has to be “sexy” to capture viewers.

And I was totally into GG2D until I started feeling like the three women getting divorced are being portrayed as either part of one big gang bang (see episode 4), out every night with their boy toys (every 40-something paired with a 21 year old), no budget, designer duds, minimal parenting required, FANTASTIC physiques, a dominatrix, a gigolo and hate sex.

The point is: IT’S NOT AT ALL LIKE THAT!

Where are the spin classes that last an hour only to binge on an ENTIRE pan of Pillsbury cinnamon buns (this literally just happened to me today)? The main character’s body looks like she goes to the gym 20 times a day, while I’m lucky if I do it twice a week. How do you do that with two kids??? No really, I’d like to know.

And by the way, where are all the hot 28 year old boy toys that are madly in love with you? Me: Does 32 count?

When was the last time you had hate sex with your ex-husband/ex-fiancee after you divorced/split? Me: Ummm…never!

How many Christian Loubatons do you own? Me: None.

Polyamory, gigolos and a dominatrix too?  C’mon, Bravo, stop rubbing it in.

Divorce and separation is incredibly difficult and emotional. All the divorcees I know didn’t turn into horny sex monkeys, into every creepy and kinky new age sexcapade. They would have told me.

I don’t know a soul who would watch it, but I kind of want to see an episode where the main character sits on her fat ass, with a box full of brownies, no exciting dating prospects, a load of laundry on the floor, bad reality TV as your friend and with a kid screaming bloody murder in the background. I’d watch it for the creature comfort.