Ex Files: New Year’s Eve With My Platonic Ex

With a heavy heart, I had to spend New Year’s Eve away from Andrew. He was with his father per the custody order.

I didn’t really feel like going out this year. The prospect of long lines at the bar for one glass of champagne (I rarely drink anymore) and everyone kissing after the ball drops was too depressing.

My ex, Jeff, and I have a completely platonic relationship. It’s a weird one. We dated when I was pretty young, on and off for six years, until we stopped trying as partners and decided on staying friends. We haven’t been intimate in about four years. Sometimes we go without speaking for a year when one of us is in a serious relationship. Inevitably, one of us sends a text to see if the other wants to catch-up. If there’s no response, I or he knows it’s not a good time and respect the silence.

We are alike in so many ways. When it comes to personality, I am the female version of him. Our shared dark humor and sardonic wit keep us in each others lives. He knows all of my skeletons. He was the one my ex-fiancee called.

Jeff has no children and his lifestyle is one I left years ago, so I see no future with him in any romantic capacity. You know when you’re so over an ex that the prospect of kissing him/her would be as gross and as unnatural as kissing a family member? That’s how I feel about Jeff.

So, I went to his little house “party.” I quote the word because there was only about eight people who came in and out at different hours. I did play Cards Against Humanity for the first time- an awesome, if not horribly politically incorrect, card game. I met his neighbor, a bartender who didn’t drink and the girlfriend of his buddy (who was also a non-drinker). As far as the girls go, I was in good company with my only glass of cheap champagne for the night.

I have this policy as the custodial parent, that if I have one glass of anything, no matter how long time has rinsed away the alcohol, I either take a cab or stay the night. I NEVER drive. Usually this poses no problem since I hardly ever drink, but it was New Year’s so I wouldn’t take a chance.

Jeff, his roommate (who has a 16 year old daughter) and I stayed up until 4 am talking about parenthood and popular culture. It was a very “ho-hum” night.

I ended up sleeping in Jeff’s bed until 9 am, with Jeff sprawled out on the couch.

Here’s to living 2014 like a lion and ringing in 2015 like a lamb!

Living 2014 like a lion and approaching 2015 like a lamb.

Living 2014 like a lion and approaching 2015 like a lamb.

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