Textual Relationships

textI have a love-hate relationship with texting.

Actually, back-up, I have a love-hate relationship with the expectations of texting. I believe in setting healthy boundaries upfront.

My potential date prospect is kind of text-obsessed. Every few hours there is a text “check-in,” like “what are you doing?” “Hey doll,” or “Hope you stay warm in this chilly weather!”

For the record, I hate being called a doll, but that’s for another post.

I haven’t gone on a date with this guy, so checking in is pretty unnecessary. I stopped texting back after the “Hey doll” comment and resumed the next afternoon.

Why f*ck up the mystique of getting to know one another in authentic ways, like a date?

I can tell this guy wears his heart on his sleeve because his texts are fast paced, however, there’s no better way than to kill the romance by having a textual relationship.

He says he’s booked all week, which kind of sucks because Andrew is with his dad this weekend.

I want to say something like “why don’t we pick this conversation up on our first date?” but I’m afraid it’s a severe reaction in a virtual-obsessed culture.

To me, a predominant textual relationship means:

  • communicating via text every day
  • superficial conversations
  • asking the same questions repeatedly, like “How’s your day?” or “What are you up to?”
  • non-committal date plans
  • sharing picture memes
  • checking in
  • trying to establish a virtual “girlfriend experience” with long answers or complaints

So, what’s the best way to turn a textual relationship into a in-person relationship without seeming aloof or into game playing?

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2 thoughts on “Textual Relationships

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