I have a date planned with the “child-friendly” guy. Let’s call him Pete. He has proposed a coffee date on Friday night. I HATE coffee dates. I repeat, HATE coffee dates. Here are some really (honest) reasons why:
1.) They require no imagination. Starbucks is literally on every corner.
2.) Coffee is a natural laxative. I don’t need to be running into the bathroom every five minutes to take a dump on my date. I could go with tea but I don’t really like the taste.
3.) Coffee breath. If he leans in after he walks you to your car without a breath mint, the kiss is ruined/gross.
4.) It’s cheap! Kind of communicates, eh well I don’t want to take any risks, so here’s a $5 cup of joe.
5.) It’s too busy. There’s always a line of patrons shouting their orders or waiting uncomfortably by your table to pick up their java. Or you may not even get a seat.
6.) It reeks of stale brewed coffee. Not very romantic.
I suggested a lounge or cute cafe as an alternative. Let’s see what we come up with…more to come.