Why I WON’T Be Seeing Fifty Shades of Grey

No, it’s not because I abhor the BDSM lifestyle, or because I believe the idea should stay in the dark dungeon of society, or because I’m a feminist. Feminism has nothing to do with my critique.  I haven’t read the book either, so my opinion of the characters and plot is solely based on pop culture, my friends, reviews and the trailer.

First of all, whomever put together the film’s trailer could not have made Anastasia and Christian more one-dimensional and boring. Both characters have horrific, monotone voices. It’s devoid passion required to excite viewers.

The “playroom” Christian alludes to in the trailer is a laughable moment, which isn’t the intention, but it’s SO lame (paraphrase):

Christian: Behind this door is my playroom.

Anastasia: You mean, like, for your Xbox and stuff?

[Cut to a smirk from Christian]

Rather than striking the nerve of intrigue, all I can think is “Ugh, this Anastasia chick is such an idiot. Please gag her from ever talking again. Or gag the writers of the script.”

The trailer also shows gratuitous sex scenes and body parts that can easily be found in porn. Why would I pay $15 for a theater seat when I have free access to the internet?

Clearly, a man is responsible for the promotion of this movie. The writers are also unimaginative. It doesn’t resonate with women. There’s nothing mysterious about a narcissistic billionaire who has the emotional capacity of a five year old by replacing authentic love with physical objectification/possession.

I know there’s supposed to be this “love” story woven into the plot. All I see is two self-absorbed, naive, kids gallivanting around with no basis in reality and no chemistry.

Codependent + Narcissist Characters and Plot= Pass

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5 thoughts on “Why I WON’T Be Seeing Fifty Shades of Grey

  1. Syn_Sunflower says:

    Omg thank you!!! I’ve been saying this forever! I read the first book only until chapter 6 and I’m like f this I might as watch porn! At least it gets straight to the point lol….the book is soooo poorly written . Yay! Seriously ….my sister from another Mista lol

    Liked by 2 people

  2. AryaCenaXOXO says:

    I agree with y’all 100%! I couldn’t make it through the book and I DO NOT intend to see the movie. “Gag me please I want to puke!” That is all I could think when watching the trailer. “For Xbox and stuff?” Really? Agreed on the monotone too the characters look and sound bored/boring. I would not waste money on this movie. I am however planning on seeing Jupiter Ascending. 🙂 Looks like an amazing movie.

    Liked by 1 person

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