Usually my dating “strategy” consist of one first date, where I can deduce if the chemistry is there or not. If not, no second, pity date for me or a second chance. This is such a case where my dating prospect immediately becomes part of the Ex Files. It’s not as if this guy was a necessarily “bad date,” rather an instance where the guy was having way more fun than I was. I guess someone could accuse me of leading him on, but my motivations weren’t that insidious. I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
We meet at a Mediterranean cafe (which as you know, is my fav first date location). He was a gentleman and reserved a table ahead of time. Upon arrival, he was short. Very short. I felt like an ogre. Leading up to the date, he texted every day and several times a day; fearful I’d be a no-show.
Between hummus and chicken/cheese appetizers we exchange funny icebreakers about dating online. I was his first date after many years in a serious relationship- so sort of a first date rebound. Uh oh.
I wasn’t immediately attracted to him, but I was hoping his shining personality would win me over. Instead I received a run down of his crazy ex girlfriend, an indifferent ex wife, an equally crazy, inept mother and eccentric, hoarding father.
By 11:15pm I was looking for the check. I knew entirely too much about this man and what I found out made me want to bolt. There comes a point in time where Mumz The Word on information overload…
Notwithstanding, he was a gentleman and walked me to my car, albeit with some ulterior motives- namely to kiss me. We did this awkward two-step shuffle. He step forward, I stepped back and sideways. We did this little dance until I gave him the second hug of the night and a quick goodbye.
I awoke the next morning to a flurry of texts recounting our little “inside jokes” of last night. My responses couldn’t be shorter or more distant.
I guess I’m going to have to stop shuffling on text and actually be honest… …eek…cringe…cry…
Oh my…
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Poor you. But excuse me while I use this example, it’s classic. GUYS read this post; first date find out everything about HER! She’ll ask, you when she wants to know about you. Then talk about yourself, not your ex!
I’m embarrassed being male.
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Great advice!
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My single male friends keep asking what they did wrong, when they crashed and burned. I just want to bang my head on the wall.
It’s not that hard to figure out. Meet, get to know each other, be polite and courteous and for a brief period of time there is no one on the planet but the person your with. (Hint; turn off the phone) if it’s not to be, politely move on.
Sorry for ranting, but it’s baffles me how the art if dating has died. 🙂
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I agree!!! What happened to courtship?
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Agreed! It seems to have died. I remember planning a nice dinner, a nice restaurant, nice wine, not too loud. Then if things were going well, another place for dessert. The fun of finding out about her, her likes and dislikes (making mental notes) then saying goodnight and a call the next day to either make another date of a thank you for a nice evening. It’s not rocket science!!!
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I’m not sure how I feel about women on a first date acting to keep from hurting their date’s feelings. Seems that it would be easier to pull off the bandage quickly.
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This is so fascinating to read. I can’t imagine myself on a first date ever again. You’re so brave!! Thank you for sharing!
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Awe you’re a good sport and it sounds like he was having a case of the word vomit….happens when nervous lol.
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