Would You Like More Eggs & Bacon With That Waffle [ing]?

There’s this big shake up happening with my group of girl friends lately. It’s the called the “waffling” man. Most of us are now newly single after quick flirtations with relationships.

The waffling man makes a great politician. He makes these large pronouncements and espouses his ideology of how things will be under his care. Cue evil laughter once he has secured your vote.

How do you know if he’s a waffle? Well, in short order (no pun intended):

1. He’s interested in immediate intimacy (3I’s).

Like that alliteration? I just made it up. It’s the old bait before the switch. It’s like a lure, bobbing above the surface, right before it ensnares you for a fresh gutting.

2. He operates like a broken faucet.

His emotional faucet only operates on two settings- scalding hot or icy cold. One minute he’s sending you selfies and cute kitty pictures to brighten up your afternoon. The next minute, he’s cold ghosting you for days.

3. He loves the “I’m busy” excuse.

Not like I’m posting from experience or anything…but when you need to vent or celebrate, his unavailability is because “I’m busy.” He uses this excuse like a well-worn pair of undies, because how can you argue “busy?” You’d be crazy to.

4. His neediness is endearing. Yours is crazy.

Women are clearly irrational. Any hint of vulnerability is a bumpy ride to the local insane asylum. Guys who express neediness are just “living in the moment” or “getting caught up in it.” Accept and learn to love these double standards- they will never change.

5. He wants to take it slow after a month of rushing to get you off dating apps.

This one is my favorite. Beware the man who excitedly wants you off the market. Chances are his profile is still active and suffering from a serious case of WOBO- Waiting On Better Opportunities. A waffler is the definition of WOBO.

Hey, now that I have my waffle, where’s that side of bacon and eggs?

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9 thoughts on “Would You Like More Eggs & Bacon With That Waffle [ing]?

  1. Scott Mitchell says:

    I think the points you made are spot on. Sadly, I think almost all single men will have at least one of those traits. I admit I’ve even done a couple of them. We’re just all confused or run on instinct I guess

    Liked by 1 person

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