Online Dating Troll Of The Week: Douche McDoucherson

After talking to a pretty attractive guy for a few days, he asked me out this weekend. I was pretty strapped for time so I suggested next Friday. He came back saying he was going to a wedding next week. He hounded me for a coffee date all weekend (which I hate!) but promised it would be no longer than an hour.

Because he was pretty attractive in his pictures and my day plans with my mother were postponed, I agreed to meet for coffee at 11:00 a.m.

Online troll Douche

I woke up a little early to blow dry my hair and get ready. At 10:50 am, I was 5 minutes away from our location. I received a text from Douche McDoucherson stating he’d be there in 45. Not seconds. 45 MINUTES.

I had practically arrived and then immediately turned around.

Me: Ok. Afraid I don’t have the time, unfortunately.

Him: Ok. Yeah, sorry about that but I thought my car was at my place, but it’s at work.

Great. He was either hung over from the night before and forgot where he parked his car OR he was lying to see how long I’d wait (PUA/red pill tactic) OR a piss poor planner OR all of the above. I didn’t respond.

Who has time to wait 45 minutes for their date to show up?!

Since my free time is precious, I treat other people’s time as important too. Oh and did I mention the man is 36? He’s a little too old for this shit in my opinion (some arrested development going on). A precursor to why he’s still single?

I NEVER wait more than 15 minutes for my dates. If a guy doesn’t value your time enough to show up on the first date, marginally on time, it’s foreshadowing other dates to come. Since this guy and I never went out on a date, he’s now one of my lovely Online Dating Trolls Of The Week and deserves a big, fat NEXT–>.

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7 thoughts on “Online Dating Troll Of The Week: Douche McDoucherson

  1. Trish says:

    He forgot where his car was??? OMG I’ve heard it all!!! That is a BIG RED FLAG!! Good for you for walking away…I bet a few women out there would have sat there for 45 minutes!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Tikeetha T says:

    Wow! Hilarious. I once had the same thing happened. The guy was 15 minutes late and I was walking out the door. He apologized and I said, “We’ll reschedule some other time.” I never did. I’m with you.

    Liked by 1 person

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