During my weekly chat with my father, we somehow broached the topic of dating in this day-in-age. His “wisdom” never ceases to amaze me. He reminded me that I was nearing 30 and that studies show that the longer-in-the-tooth women are, combined with higher education, a career and a little one, the dating pool is narrowing by the day.
He offered some fun, little tid bits of “advice” cloaked in pseudo-scientific research:
- Studies show fewer men prefer marrying women with higher degrees and careers, much less women with higher degrees, careers AND a child from a previous relationship.
- Even when a woman is childless, her age narrows the dating pool because men tend to prefer younger women at the biological peak of their child bearing years.
- Women should resign themselves to having more children, even when they don’t want more, because biologically speaking, men don’t like to raise other men’s children unless they also have one of their own.
- Men as hunters, prefer being the breadwinners and feel threatened when their wife makes more which can cause marital problems (totally hypocritical since my mom was the breadwinner in their marriage).
- Divorce rates are astronomical, and with all the online dating apps around, men have greater opportunities to stray (ummmm….what about women? Don’t they have the same opportunities to stray?)
Sorry dad, I love you, but this patriarchal thought process does nothing for women empowerment, nor speaks to the modern woman.
How about this: A stable, loving relationship with a man is a NICE TO HAVE and not necessary for my well-being, drive or sense of accomplishment. I’d rather take my time, even if it means it will take years, than settle for a man less than what I deserve. The “old maid” and “cat lady” stereotypes no longer apply when you know who you are, what you want and how to get it.
Ladies, never let this type of silly rhetoric scare you from finding the right guy or settling with a jerk off just so you have a pretty ring on your finger.
If my mother had anything to say about it, who held out and married at 34, she’d tell him it’s hogwash.
Right on mom.