He Wants His New Girlfriend to do Visitation Drop-Offs

My son’s escort recently floated the idea that once the protective order has expired, my ex would prefer that his girlfriend do visitation drop offs. I was stunned, so I asked why. The response I got was “He doesn’t feel ready to see and interact with you yet.”

As you can image, I wasn’t too thrilled. I don’t know this woman, nor do I know if she is just another flavor of the week. My worse nightmare is that a string of women might be doing this chore, and my poor son will be confused.

Going to court over this new development would be a waste of time and money. A judge might view my request as petty and jealous. So, I’m sort of stuck.

Does anyone have advice? Have you been in this situation before? How have you handled it?

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9 thoughts on “He Wants His New Girlfriend to do Visitation Drop-Offs

  1. dotcamomblog says:

    Check the precedent in your state for what adults were allowed to be a pickup and dropoff escort.

    Also you won’t seem jealous and petty when you approach a judge with your concern that this girlfriend would just be a short-term girlfriend and your ex would very well date a string of women. So you’re being reasonable in voicing your concern to a judge that you don’t want different adult women throughout your son’s childhood to be the responsible adult who would escort him from your ex to you.

    What you have to be clear about is that the adult that your ex uses as an escort to bring your son from him to you must be a long-term adult. Anything less would just put your son at the risk of being with a stranger who isn’t a social worker. Or your son would be at risk when getting escorted by one different woman after another because your ex is dating and his dating relationships are all short.

    Be clear that your ex dating a woman for just a few weeks and months can’t qualify that adult to be entrusted as a visitation escort for your son.

    Honestly, don’t be doubtful or afraid.

    I know your concern is reasonable 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Army of Angels says:

    I can tell you what we do, but we don’t have girlfriend/boyfriend situations. I send my mom with the kids in a pinch. I have never sent another adult to pick up the kids, and neither has the ex. My ex is an abuser/controlling/narcissist/psychopath-very difficult to negotiate with. Whatever you decide, make your wishes/requests known, in writing…keep a copy on file. Keep documentation of all the times he doesn’t come to the exchange. Clear expectations and boundaries will help. Once we “give in”, the abuser assumes that they can keep taking more and more. I like the idea of maybe only allowing other family members to transport to exchanges.

    Liked by 1 person

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