I was chatting with a guy that seemed to have a promising personality- a gentleman and interesting. We escalated to WhatsApp within a week and found shared interests. Soon, he asked me out for Friday, but not before sizing up. In rapid-fire style, this guy asked me the following questions:
1.) Do you have higher education?
My answer: Yes, I’m in grad school.
His answer: Good. I’m Yale ’03 and Harvard Business School ’13.
2.) What’s you background?
My answer: WASP-y father and Jewish mother.
His Answer: Good. Jewish on both sides.
3.) Do you want more children?
My answer: Too soon to tell.
His answer: I’m not trying to chase shiny objects on the lawn. I mean, I do want children.
My answer: Well we haven’t even gone out yet!
His answer: I like to cover things ASAP. I find that many people don’t like late disclosure of things known all along.
I refused to answer this question. The honest truth is that I don’t know, it depends. But my main point is why even date and get to know someone romantically if you are going through a list? There are TOO many variables that may change my mind or actions in the future. My current life’s path isn’t solely defined by my future life’s path- it may change. I respect that he wants biological children, however I’m just trying to get through the days as a good parent with the one I have. Also, this is a better question asked in person.
I don’t want to waste anyone’s time either, but people rarely find a partner based on a check list because a person’s character shouldn’t be defined by a set of “asks.” Unless he wants to get married tomorrow (which there are plenty of girls out there who want that) I advised him to take things slow. Dating is a risk of your time, effort and resources. If you’re not willing to take the risk, then don’t date! I have practically no time or resources to date, but I take a risk every time I do. In my mind, so should the guy who is interested.