Who’s The Flake?

I’ve been seeing a guy I used to date four years ago. Let’s call him Repeat. I broke up with Repeatrepeat in 2011 because I couldn’t see anything long term. We literally had only one thing in common *wink*. He loves watching sports- I’d rather have a root canal. He loves to travel- the idea of jet setting 24/7 makes me queasy. I like to read, write and express myself- he hasn’t read a book since it was mandatory in college.

The point is, we both agreed we’ll never be serious. Quite frankly, I have no time to have anything other than fun until I graduate my masters program.

Last weekend, we had a good time at a wine bar, which led to the inevitable. Repeat promptly asked for a follow-up date for this weekend. I agreed. He had to babysit his brother’s kids on Saturday night, so I offered to come over with board games and keep him company after the kiddos scampered off to bed.

So, last Friday came and went. No text or phone call. That’s okay, I reasoned. We already had plans, right? Saturday in class, not one text to confirm plans. So, I did what I almost never do- tried to confirm via text. He skirted the issue and mentioned he was at a baseball game that would end at 10pm.

To me, that sounded like a flake move. I resolved to make other plans with friends. At 11pm, I received this message:

“Hey, I finished up a little late here. Still down to come over?”

Doesn’t that sound like a booty call? It did to me, so I didn’t respond.

So, my fellow bloggers- Who’s the flake?

Advertisements

Coming Clean

So, there is a reason why my posts have kind of fallen off the wagon. And no, it’s actually not due to moving.

I just started my own business!!!!

It’s about three weeks green, a couple sleepless nights and many “what if’s?”

I know, I know, I’m crazy.

A new mom in school every weekend and working full time + a start up = WTF.

But now that I have a better idea of where I’m going and what my company should be (a new take on the PR boutiques floating around D.C.), I want to come back to the community I love= you guys.

Seriously, I have gained so much inspiration from the blogs I follow. Everyone who has shared a little slice of their life has taught me invaluable lessons: namely, to go for it.

This will not be another blog hocking my wares. I want to keep my voice authentic and my face bitchy on here.

Happy to be back :-).

Sharing Is Caring: 55 Good Ideas For Blog Posts

I’m a public relations practitioner by day, mother 24/7, student of the arts on the weekends and dating app swiper by night, so I’m always on the look out for good content.

Suffering from blogger’s block? Check out this AWESOME infographic on the “Ultimate List For Blog Post Ideas” by clicking the graphic or here. Although it was created by a digital marketing firm, it holds water for personal blogging with a dash of ingenuity.

If Hugh Jackman Was A Lawyer…

Garry was very tall (he didn’t lie) leaning against the entrance of Firehouse bar. He was playing with his phone, probably texting me directions. My phone had died and I was in Northeast D.C. pretty close to lost. But there he was. I got this tingly feeling. I get it when I see an attractive man I’m about to go on a date with.

He looked like Hugh Jackman, he sounded like Hugh Jackman, but alas, his personality was not that of Hugh Jackman. It was of a stereotypical, Hollywood lawyer: dry and boorish. Now, don’t get me wrong- my mom is a lawyer and she an animated woman. But this guy…typical.

It was all so inconsistent. We had perfectly fun, witty banter online and via text message, but in person, he was kind of a drag.

So I pressed on, drank on, and tried to entertain myself…talking to myself. His pothead roommate stopped by mid-date and chatted us up a bit (?). Even he had more personality in those brief few minutes.

The times he did talk, it was about his insatiable wanderlust mentality. He didn’t expect to live in D.C. more than two years. Great! That’s exactly what’s going to score you points in the D.C. dating scene.

The date didn’t last long. I was out of there by 11:30 p.m. and grateful. I got a few texts the next day (YouTube links to the kind of music he likes). I was nice but not too interested.

Hugh Jackman was a HUGE disappointment.

A Few Safety Tips Before You Ride The Emotional Roller Coaster: How The Hot Hipster Became A Hot Mess

The reason I love blogging so much is that it records the promises you keep to yourself. This post is a perfect example of learning, maturing, refusing to make the same mistakes and never settling for less than you deserve.

So before I take you on my emotional roller coaster ride of the last month, here are some safety tips:

  1. Keep all emotion and confusion inside the ride at all times.
  2. Make sure your “vulnerability” safety harness is secured before the ride begins.
  3. Please note that there will be several high drops.
  4. Enjoy the ride while it lasts, but know that we have very few repeat riders.

So, now that we understand the safety procedures, here we go:

Before we began our exclusive relationship, Hipster literally wined and dined me. He brought me flowers on our lunch date, he cooked me a wonderful dinner, he made large pronouncements such as calling me “love,” “future life partner,” “stunning” and that we would be a “power couple.” I even helped him think of ideas for promoting his catering business. It all seemed idyllic, even with the red flags of living with a slightly unhinged female roommate and the weird relationship with his ex wife, who he said was still “waiting for him.”

After we became “official,” I noticed the romancing started to fade. It seemed that because he had “won” my affections, the charade of wooing was no longer as important. Questions about my life and inquiries  about my dreams and life experiences faded into the background and were replaced by his obsession over his business and interests in wealth accumulation. Every conversation began and ended with his stories, frustrations and feelings. It was a one-sided start to a once promising relationship.

Then came the insistence on unsafe sex- something I was definitely opposed to. I was made to feel guilty about not taking birth control (the pill reeks havoc on my body). I also didn’t want an IUD because of the horror stories I’ve heard from friends. Hipster was frustrated that I preferred condoms because his sexual experience was more important than being safe.

The next disagreement ensued last Friday. He refused to talk about my feelings on birth control, but I eventually agreed to go to the doctor for a prescription. He also let me in on the fact that while he was married, his wife gave him a “hall pass” to “improve their relationship,” which he used and wasn’t opposed to repeating in future relationships. I nearly walked out on him until he stopped me to say “I was just joking.” When I left early Saturday morning, I thought we were on the same footing. I clearly was wrong. For four days he ghosted me, citing that he was too busy. Fine. Last night I sent him a text asking for us to talk about a few concerns. He called me on his way to an event. The conversation went something like this:

Hipster: So what do you want to talk about? When you send a message that you “want to talk,” it’s never good.

Me: Well, I just feel like you’ve been so scalding hot and then so icy cold these past few days and I want to understand what’s been going on.

Hipster: I’m busy! I can’t just text you every hour on the hour when I’m working. When I’m not working, I’m freer to text.

Me: Okay. I just feel like there’s been a sharp atmospheric change between us.

Hipster: I have to say, that for lack of a better term, you’re just trying to nag me and frankly it’s off putting.

Me: I’m just trying to tell you how I feel. If that’s nagging to you than you’re misusing the term.

Hipster: I’m on my way to an event and my energy has now completely changed, so thanks.

Me: If you’re energy has changed, that’s about you, not me wanting to talk.

Hipster. Well, I guess we both need to do some pondering “about us” and what we want. I need to go. You have a nice night, Penny.” [Click].

Yes, he hung up on me. Just like that.

So I pondered. And pondered. Not only was Hipster a poor communicator (kind of a non-starter in my relationships) he was also selfish. I decided I didn’t need to be with someone who wouldn’t be able to stick through the tough times or disagreements. As you’ve probably gathered from my blog, I’m no waif. I am strong and independent and have no time for men who treat their women with disregard and disrespect. Been there, done that.

So I decided to end it with this:

Text Part 1

Text Part 1

Text Part 2

Text Part 2

I never received a response, and I’m okay with that. I allowed myself about 12 hours to feel upset and disappointed. I then deleted his number and information. I want it to be a clean break, even if the shelf life was for one month.

I leave you all feeling optimistic. In my heart, I know I did the right thing for me. In the end, all I can do is love and protect myself and Andrew. I owe it to him to be with a partner who will respect his mother.

Bruce Jenner “Breaks The Internet” With A Better Message

After his infamous Diane Sawyer interview, Bruce Jenner “Broke The Internet” in a more empowering and meaningful way than Kim K’s nasty, well-oiled ass on Paper Magazine. I have to say that I am proud of him (which I will now refer to “her” out of well-deserved respect).

As courageous and brave as Bruce is, I hate to say that her daughters are seriously lacking in a positive female role model who respects their bodies and channels their talents (?) in an intellectual capacity. Bruce is an extremely emotionally and socially intelligent human being. I can only hope that after her transition to female, she can help her daughters realize their potential is not the sum of their body parts, because the current matriarch, Kris, loves to objectify her own kids for some quick cash. Heaven help us if Bruce starts to take the fashion advice from Kylie’s overblown lips and Kim’s questionable, platinum blond locks; furry, spider eyelash beauty tips; and sheer fashion choices.

In contrast to Kim’s gratuitous ass and tits image (Yeah, Kim we all know. We’ve seen the movie), Kim’s message is: “Just because you’re a mother, doesn’t mean you can’t still be sexy; so embrace your body.” It doesn’t resonate with the common woman because we don’t have 300+ beauty staff and another 100 fashion consultants, nor would we want to narcissistically post selfies ever hour on the hour. We have more important things to do like learning, teaching, reading, pursuing career goals, etc.

Bruce is authentic and actually wants to help people by telling her story. I found her interview to be authentic, non-scripted and a heartbreaking story of a biological male so pressured by society she was forced to wear a false mask for 65 years. That must be hell-on-Earth.

Bruce is still being dubbed as part of the Kardashian Machine (KM), hocking his docu-series on her transition. But I don’t see it as another KM ploy. Her documentary will show a very emotional process and shed light for others to make more informed decisions on their gender identities.

My hope is that this dialogue moves from “gender dysphoria” to “gender actualization.” Dysphoria implies sadness and depression of one’s gender identity. Actualization implies that those in transition are in the process of reaching their new potential and embracing their natural self as the gender they wish to live.

Bruce Jenner deserves our comBruce-Jenner-Has-Dreamed-of-Becoming-a-Woman-for-20-Years-Insider-Claims-461962-2passion, love, understanding and support. I wish her all the best!

Bad Habit #345: I Overreact

I can’t help it. I mean I can, if I work on it, but the impulse is so hard to control.

I’d like to say that I am an impassioned person to justify my impulse to react, but that’s not fair.

memecreator.com

memecreator.org

I got into it with the new boyfriend over a topic near and dear to my heart- using contraceptives. I’m for, he’s against. Regardless of where you stand on the issue, I did get mad at his stubbornness and failure to see why my point of view (i.e. my accidental mom status has forever shaped my perceptions) makes me a little bit of a tyrant on the issue.

I kind of became a bit of a drama queen. I need to check that. It’s a new relationship, so I need to temper my expectations.

What Are Your Top Posts?

I believe in a little self improvement and agonize over my traffic- the posts that were read, but not commented; the posts that had more comments than readers; the old posts that warrant more revisits; and etc.

Help a girl out and post in the comments section what your top blog posts were. I’d love to see what types of content people are REALLY interested in reading.

Thanks!