Coming Clean

So, there is a reason why my posts have kind of fallen off the wagon. And no, it’s actually not due to moving.

I just started my own business!!!!

It’s about three weeks green, a couple sleepless nights and many “what if’s?”

I know, I know, I’m crazy.

A new mom in school every weekend and working full time + a start up = WTF.

But now that I have a better idea of where I’m going and what my company should be (a new take on the PR boutiques floating around D.C.), I want to come back to the community I love= you guys.

Seriously, I have gained so much inspiration from the blogs I follow. Everyone who has shared a little slice of their life has taught me invaluable lessons: namely, to go for it.

This will not be another blog hocking my wares. I want to keep my voice authentic and my face bitchy on here.

Happy to be back :-).

Advertisements

Sharing Is Caring: 55 Good Ideas For Blog Posts

I’m a public relations practitioner by day, mother 24/7, student of the arts on the weekends and dating app swiper by night, so I’m always on the look out for good content.

Suffering from blogger’s block? Check out this AWESOME infographic on the “Ultimate List For Blog Post Ideas” by clicking the graphic or here. Although it was created by a digital marketing firm, it holds water for personal blogging with a dash of ingenuity.

A Few Safety Tips Before You Ride The Emotional Roller Coaster: How The Hot Hipster Became A Hot Mess

The reason I love blogging so much is that it records the promises you keep to yourself. This post is a perfect example of learning, maturing, refusing to make the same mistakes and never settling for less than you deserve.

So before I take you on my emotional roller coaster ride of the last month, here are some safety tips:

  1. Keep all emotion and confusion inside the ride at all times.
  2. Make sure your “vulnerability” safety harness is secured before the ride begins.
  3. Please note that there will be several high drops.
  4. Enjoy the ride while it lasts, but know that we have very few repeat riders.

So, now that we understand the safety procedures, here we go:

Before we began our exclusive relationship, Hipster literally wined and dined me. He brought me flowers on our lunch date, he cooked me a wonderful dinner, he made large pronouncements such as calling me “love,” “future life partner,” “stunning” and that we would be a “power couple.” I even helped him think of ideas for promoting his catering business. It all seemed idyllic, even with the red flags of living with a slightly unhinged female roommate and the weird relationship with his ex wife, who he said was still “waiting for him.”

After we became “official,” I noticed the romancing started to fade. It seemed that because he had “won” my affections, the charade of wooing was no longer as important. Questions about my life and inquiries  about my dreams and life experiences faded into the background and were replaced by his obsession over his business and interests in wealth accumulation. Every conversation began and ended with his stories, frustrations and feelings. It was a one-sided start to a once promising relationship.

Then came the insistence on unsafe sex- something I was definitely opposed to. I was made to feel guilty about not taking birth control (the pill reeks havoc on my body). I also didn’t want an IUD because of the horror stories I’ve heard from friends. Hipster was frustrated that I preferred condoms because his sexual experience was more important than being safe.

The next disagreement ensued last Friday. He refused to talk about my feelings on birth control, but I eventually agreed to go to the doctor for a prescription. He also let me in on the fact that while he was married, his wife gave him a “hall pass” to “improve their relationship,” which he used and wasn’t opposed to repeating in future relationships. I nearly walked out on him until he stopped me to say “I was just joking.” When I left early Saturday morning, I thought we were on the same footing. I clearly was wrong. For four days he ghosted me, citing that he was too busy. Fine. Last night I sent him a text asking for us to talk about a few concerns. He called me on his way to an event. The conversation went something like this:

Hipster: So what do you want to talk about? When you send a message that you “want to talk,” it’s never good.

Me: Well, I just feel like you’ve been so scalding hot and then so icy cold these past few days and I want to understand what’s been going on.

Hipster: I’m busy! I can’t just text you every hour on the hour when I’m working. When I’m not working, I’m freer to text.

Me: Okay. I just feel like there’s been a sharp atmospheric change between us.

Hipster: I have to say, that for lack of a better term, you’re just trying to nag me and frankly it’s off putting.

Me: I’m just trying to tell you how I feel. If that’s nagging to you than you’re misusing the term.

Hipster: I’m on my way to an event and my energy has now completely changed, so thanks.

Me: If you’re energy has changed, that’s about you, not me wanting to talk.

Hipster. Well, I guess we both need to do some pondering “about us” and what we want. I need to go. You have a nice night, Penny.” [Click].

Yes, he hung up on me. Just like that.

So I pondered. And pondered. Not only was Hipster a poor communicator (kind of a non-starter in my relationships) he was also selfish. I decided I didn’t need to be with someone who wouldn’t be able to stick through the tough times or disagreements. As you’ve probably gathered from my blog, I’m no waif. I am strong and independent and have no time for men who treat their women with disregard and disrespect. Been there, done that.

So I decided to end it with this:

Text Part 1

Text Part 1

Text Part 2

Text Part 2

I never received a response, and I’m okay with that. I allowed myself about 12 hours to feel upset and disappointed. I then deleted his number and information. I want it to be a clean break, even if the shelf life was for one month.

I leave you all feeling optimistic. In my heart, I know I did the right thing for me. In the end, all I can do is love and protect myself and Andrew. I owe it to him to be with a partner who will respect his mother.

Bruce Jenner “Breaks The Internet” With A Better Message

After his infamous Diane Sawyer interview, Bruce Jenner “Broke The Internet” in a more empowering and meaningful way than Kim K’s nasty, well-oiled ass on Paper Magazine. I have to say that I am proud of him (which I will now refer to “her” out of well-deserved respect).

As courageous and brave as Bruce is, I hate to say that her daughters are seriously lacking in a positive female role model who respects their bodies and channels their talents (?) in an intellectual capacity. Bruce is an extremely emotionally and socially intelligent human being. I can only hope that after her transition to female, she can help her daughters realize their potential is not the sum of their body parts, because the current matriarch, Kris, loves to objectify her own kids for some quick cash. Heaven help us if Bruce starts to take the fashion advice from Kylie’s overblown lips and Kim’s questionable, platinum blond locks; furry, spider eyelash beauty tips; and sheer fashion choices.

In contrast to Kim’s gratuitous ass and tits image (Yeah, Kim we all know. We’ve seen the movie), Kim’s message is: “Just because you’re a mother, doesn’t mean you can’t still be sexy; so embrace your body.” It doesn’t resonate with the common woman because we don’t have 300+ beauty staff and another 100 fashion consultants, nor would we want to narcissistically post selfies ever hour on the hour. We have more important things to do like learning, teaching, reading, pursuing career goals, etc.

Bruce is authentic and actually wants to help people by telling her story. I found her interview to be authentic, non-scripted and a heartbreaking story of a biological male so pressured by society she was forced to wear a false mask for 65 years. That must be hell-on-Earth.

Bruce is still being dubbed as part of the Kardashian Machine (KM), hocking his docu-series on her transition. But I don’t see it as another KM ploy. Her documentary will show a very emotional process and shed light for others to make more informed decisions on their gender identities.

My hope is that this dialogue moves from “gender dysphoria” to “gender actualization.” Dysphoria implies sadness and depression of one’s gender identity. Actualization implies that those in transition are in the process of reaching their new potential and embracing their natural self as the gender they wish to live.

Bruce Jenner deserves our comBruce-Jenner-Has-Dreamed-of-Becoming-a-Woman-for-20-Years-Insider-Claims-461962-2passion, love, understanding and support. I wish her all the best!

Bad Habit #345: I Overreact

I can’t help it. I mean I can, if I work on it, but the impulse is so hard to control.

I’d like to say that I am an impassioned person to justify my impulse to react, but that’s not fair.

memecreator.com

memecreator.org

I got into it with the new boyfriend over a topic near and dear to my heart- using contraceptives. I’m for, he’s against. Regardless of where you stand on the issue, I did get mad at his stubbornness and failure to see why my point of view (i.e. my accidental mom status has forever shaped my perceptions) makes me a little bit of a tyrant on the issue.

I kind of became a bit of a drama queen. I need to check that. It’s a new relationship, so I need to temper my expectations.

What Are Your Top Posts?

I believe in a little self improvement and agonize over my traffic- the posts that were read, but not commented; the posts that had more comments than readers; the old posts that warrant more revisits; and etc.

Help a girl out and post in the comments section what your top blog posts were. I’d love to see what types of content people are REALLY interested in reading.

Thanks!

What Happens When You Don’t Give Credit…

This happens to me all the time at work. I produce something really awesome and my client gets the credit. I must sit back and smile. My pay check is the last one laughing, although it stings.

So today, henceforth, I will be better with crediting photos on my blog. I’m going to add a link-back to header images and a caption for embedded media. I’m pretty sure through reblogging and commenting, I do an okay job giving others credit for their good ideas and if I borrow an idea, I link back to the original poster, but I can always do better.

weburbanist.com

weburbanist.com

Some side-effects when you don’t give credit where credit is due (whether it’s at work, at home or on a blog):

– Resentment. It might take awhile to fester, but the idea originator(s) will become a slow burning enemy(ies).

– Credibility issues. The more you borrow and fail to credit, the more people catch on that you’re kind of a con-artist. Don’t be surprised if your ship is suddenly desolate and your not really the captain anymore.

– Stale ideas. You are constantly re-purposing old content that has worked in the past. But it’s still a pig with different shades of lipstick.

– Disillusionment. Everyone is nodding or agreeing with you once in awhile, but you’re not having real conversations. You start to have this me vs. them attitude as your ego tries to absorb the blows.

Slut Shaming

Listening to some of my guy friends talk about the pantheon of girls they slayed in the past month, I thought to myself, how many guys would call a girl a slut if they overheard this conversation? Oblivious to the double standard, my guy friends did the proverbial back slap and complimented each other’s conquest.

The Myth:

Women who live a “free love” lifestyles are sluts while men who do the same are masculine and virile.

If we refuse to scrub the word “slut” out of our vocabularies, then it needs to be an equal opportunity slur. In fact, I think I called a few of my guy friends sluts while they shot back a nonplussed glance my way. I chose not to say “male slut” because I am treating this word as agnostic of gender or sex.

Until we erase this word completely, my promiscuous male counterparts, I will mercilessly slut shame the fuck out of you.

#Foodforthought

An Amazing Dinner With A Cameo From Lizzy The Roommate Who Is A Little Bit Crazy

I’m a little late, as usual, while I drive almost a half an hour away in Friday afternoon traffic. My make-up is nearly perfect but I am a little disappointed in my outfit. My apartment is a little bit of a wreck right now- a variable clothes explosion- I couldn’t find the outfit I was going to wear to save my life!

I pull up to his house, effortlessly yuppie with a well-manicured lawn, and hear Hipster’s music blasting from the window in the kitchen.

The screen door was propped open, inviting me in.

“Helloooo?” I called.

A half balding, older man popped his head in the hallway, “Hiya. Come on in.”

I walked into the kitchen and was greeted by Liz, a very petite blonde in ass-hugging jeggings, a white blouse, nude pumps and a white Chanel handbag.

“Hi I’m Liz,” she said and shook my hand.

So far so good. The three of them were downing moderately priced champagne. It was a bit early for me to drink so I nursed the glass while Liz went about the kitchen tidying (it was already immaculately clean). Poor Hipster looked agitated at the roommate and boyfriend intrusion.

Liz certainly didn’t get the hint and made herself at home on a bar stool.

“So Penny. Tell me about yourself.”

“What would you like to know?” I asked pleasantly.

“Hipster tells me you’re a single mom. So like do you have baby daddy drama? Are you friendly? Do you guys talk? Were you ever married? Do you miss your kid on weekends?”

I kid you not, this woman asked about 20 inappropriate questions in one breath.

I’m not the kind of woman to divulge my life’s story after knowing a person for five minutes, so I answered some of the more mundane questions.

She then went on to tell me about her impending divorce to a man 15 years older (in his fifties) who was a psychopath and a sex addict. I then learned she was trying to settle for spousal support and the house but the divorce process had taken two years.

“Do you ever want to get married? Was your pregnancy planned? Why don’t you and your ex talk? Even to co-parent?” she kept yammering.

After about an hour and a half of interrogation, I wasn’t sure that I liked this woman. She acted like someone who snorted too much Adderall, running around the house, chasing her dogs.

Finally she and her boyfriend left. I was relieved. Hipster went on to plate our first dish: perfectly cooked gnocchi with pickled artichokes, asparagus and a pesto sauce. The second course was even better: seared scallops on a bed of cauliflower puree (tasting surprisingly nutty) and sun dried tomatoes with flecks of bacon. The first two courses were so big that neither of us could stomach the other three he planned to cook. The desserts were cheese plates, delicious mulberry jam and chocolate-covered, fresh coconut.

We had amazing conversation, plenty of wine and those “come-hither” glances you see in movies. No more than two hours later, Lizzy and her boyfriend came home to make yet another cameo, drunker than before.

The two of them plopped down next to us and restarted our previous conversation. Liz rambled on about her female and male houseplant’s love connection (?!) and said things like “I know we probably shouldn’t be friends, but I think we will be,” “You should bring over your son next time- I love to babysit!” and “you have an intimidating type of style” because I wore black and white and dark makeup.

Our night ended after WE excused ourselves to Hipster’s room. I’m not quite sold on this chick, but their body language didn’t portray any hint of a past, romantic relationship.

At the end of the night, I am happy to report that we are now exclusive :-).

Should I give her the benefit of the doubt and loosen up or is something somewhat unhinged?